clara backround

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

the break-up...

So here we are...about to submit our dossier. This is the ultra exciting packet of paperwork that is given to the foreign government of the country we are adopting from. The forms included prove such things as the following: we are not murderers, rapists, robbers, etc., we have a house, money, medical insurance. Once the dossier is completely compiled it's sent to our agency where it's shipped all over the place for extensive authentication and then on to the intended country of adoption. Here is what I've suddenly found myself panicking about...not breathing into a paper bag sort of panicking, but deep in the back of my mind I have been asking myself and God...'is this whole Ethiopia thing reallllly going to work out?" All the news coming out of our originally intended country has sounded very gloomy lately and it seemed as though we might be waiting a loooong time for a baby if things didn't change. We have been very interested in adoptions from Uganda, but they require about a month of travel, which has seemed so impossible. So last night, after a whole day of stressing and pulling Chad down into the dumps with me, after spending so much time in front of the computer researching Ugandan adoption that my eyes were completely glazed over, I gathered myself together and wrote my dear social worker a beautiful and heartfelt break-up letter. I told her how lovely the agency has been to us. I told her that if only things were different in Ethiopia we would not have to be looking elsewhere. However, we had devised a plan, and unfortunately, unless she could give us some hope, it looked like we were over. I went to bed thinking of her reaction as she read the email upon arriving at work in the morning, sure that we're her favorite clients, so naturally she would be devestated and try to talk us into staying, right?


Well...kind of. First thing this morning my phone rang, and sure enough it was our case worker, Lesley. I listened for the sound of tears in her voice, but she definately sounded as though she was holding it together (good for her!). I asked if she had gotten my message and she assured me that she had. Then she said this, or something like this, "Christina, let me say one thing; here at Arise we are advocates of adoption, not one specific country, so if you feel that God is leading your family elsewhere we will support you in that and help transfer you to another agency. However, if you're scared because of all the things that have been in the media about Ethiopia slowing down, I will just tell you to settle down." As it turns out, things in Ethiopia are running just fine. The slowdown of processing 40 cases each day down to 5 only lasted two days, and things are already picking up and running smoothly again. Well, I'll admit I felt a little silly. We talked for nearly an hour as she gave me all the details that she's aware of and I sheepishly admitted to her that I may have overreacted a tiny bit.


Now, 24 hours after devising a rather elaborate plan to move our entire family to Uganda for 4-6 weeks (which a dear friend assured me was an utterly crazy thing to do), we are back on track and almost ready to submit our dossier to ETHIOPIA!! As I write this I feel very confident that Ruby is in Ethiopia as we speak and that our Heavenly Father has been guiding us there this whole time...unfortunately, I'm not as good at following patiently as I had originally thought.

Hoping to have more updates soon!

11 comments:

  1. You wrote straight from your imperfect yet completely endearing heart!!! I loved reading every line! Here's to Ruby from Ethiopia!!! ;)

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  2. I've been thinking of you lately, with all the questions regarding our babies in Ethiopia. I know what you have been going through, seems exactly the course I have been on. And we too have come to the conclusion to just hang on, believe, and stick with the original plan! What a journey we are all on! I'm hoping to get a bunch of families together that all have adopted/are adopting, think it would be wonderful to support each other! I'll let you know when something is on the calendar!

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  3. Christina, one of the things I've come to love about you is your dedication to self-disclosure, even the bumpy parts. In a world where everyone looks like they've got it together, I appreciate your willingness to ride the ride with God and let others know that they're not the only ones who sometimes doubt what God is doing and how he's doing it. Thank you. Love you.

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  4. i had some highs and lows reading this for sure!!! so excited to hear the good news about ethiopia, and thrilled for you that your dossier is almost ready!! we are ready to start looking into agencies....we will have to get some info from you!

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  5. so, so thrilled to hear that you're moving forward with ethiopia, that the five cases a day didn't last...and that you don't have to ship off to africa for a month and a half, we would miss you, you know.

    it's bee such a blessing to see you walking through this process, the good, the bad and everything in between. praying for peace for you and chad and God's hand on your journey to ruby. i absolutely cannot wait...already. love you so, so much <3

    Like cold water to a weary soul, is good news from a distant land. -Proverbs 25:25

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  6. Awww, Tina. I'm so glad that you're wholeheartedly devoted to your unknown, yet already loved new little one, no matter where she may be located geographically. Isn't it funny how God comes through and soothes our nerves when we go crazy? Believe me, my nerves have been shot recently, and I can definitely sympthasize with the anxiety of not knowing how the future will play out. Lots of prayers coming your way. God will always give you the grace in the moment to handle what comes your way (preaching to myself here, too!). Love ya!

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  7. He is soveriegn!!!!!!!!!!!! I just love how HE works in all of our lives!!!!!!! Praying for Ruby! :-)

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  8. Christina,

    So excited that you guy are getting ready to send off your dossier! We are also with Arise and got word last week that our Dossier is in Ethiopia, so we are just a little ahead. Maybe our paths will cross in Ethiopia!

    I will echo what Lesley said. I have talked to her as well as some others "in the loop" and everyone seems to think that all of this will work out for the best for all involved. We adopted our first child from Guatemala right when it was shutting down. We were the last family with our agency to bring our child home. What is going on in Ethiopia has a completely different feel that what happened in Guatemala. So we are also proceeding and praying that God continues to direct our steps.

    Interestingly enough, we came to the Ethiopia program from the Uganda program with one of Arise's partner agencies! After almost a year with no referral (not the fault of the agency, we were requesting special needs and despite numerous people trying different avenues to find our child, he just wasn't there!) we switched to the EE program in January.

    Cannot wait to read that your dossier is in Ethiopia!

    Blessings!
    Deidre

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  9. Oh, Christina, I can completely relate to what you've been through! We also almost switched at one point, AFTER waiting a year and a half for Rwanda!!! But God has shown us time and again that HE is in every last detail, including where and when (day, our, minute, and second) that you will meet your precious Ruby. I happy to hear that He faithfully provided direction for you through your case worker. Congratulations on finishing your dossier!!!

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  10. i love you. love, "utterly crazy."

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  11. Hi Christina!
    I'm a friend of Audreys; she forwarded your blog to me. ;o)
    We just recently had a bump in our adoption plans, so I know first hand how heartbreaking it can be to have your heart set on something and it not go that route. I'm sooo glad things are working out for you!!

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