POP...an adoption story...

i have spent the last week trying to figure out an eloquent way to introduce this book on my blog. i would love to take you back in time to explain every little thing that lead up to the writing of this story about a mama, waiting and waiting to bring her little one home. the thing is, it would take forever to tell you the story of this story so i'm going to leave it at this...after myles and before ruby was this story. the story of a dear friend waiting to bring home her little boy from rwanda that eventually became the story of our family waiting to bring our little girl home from ethiopia...and somewhere along the way we realized that it is the story of any family who has ever anticipated, longed for, dreamt of, worked towards, or loved a heart-born child.

to pre-order your copy or to become a backer of Mommy's Heart Went POP! click HERE where you can find more information, view the teaser video, and learn more about the Ruby Myles fund. our hope is that this story will help adopted children realize the love that their adopted parents feel for them and that the proceeds from the purchase of this book will help to bring more children home to their forever families!

submitted!!!

after weeks of prayers...hundreds of prayers...for our adoption to start moving again, it has finally happened!!! on wednesday, september 21st, our paperwork was finally accepted by the american embassy in addis!!! we are on to the final stages of bringing our little girl home!! i cannot tell you the relief i feel at knowing that we will have her home (hopefully) in the next few weeks!! i am allowing myself to miss her with full force again...to look through her things and anticipate her here...in our arms...with our family.

a place called wait...

i just wanted to give a brief update on our process. two weeks ago i asked anybody who reads this blog to please pray for a miracle that our paperwork would be submitted to the american embassy last week. i just wanted to give my bloggy friends (an incredibly riveting) update, which is this: we have no idea what happened that day. we may or may not have been submitted, and as of now we may or may not have been submitted at all. communication between our agency's people in ethiopia and their people here in the states seems to be completely blocked. we don't know exactly the reason, but it is looking like we are about to go into another weekend of not knowing. i don't love this. i am craving an update like i craved chocolate shakes and saurkraut when i was pregnant. the only problem is that i can't send chad out to pick me up an update from the local grocer, so i am learning to wait. learning. to. wait. i am in this waiting place, where if find i am not alone and so i pray for my baby girl and for my friends who are here with me in this most frusterating place. praying for their children and their hearts as we remind each other that we serve a faithful God and wait in expectation for Him to make paths clear.

"In the morning, O Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait in expectation." Psalm 4

i hope to have more news next week!

oh, perspective...

hello bloggy friends. it has been a crummy week for adoption news around here. for one thing, we are not...i repeat NOT in ethiopia. not only are we not in ethiopia at this very moment, preparing to bring our daughter home, we have not yet been submitted to the american embassy (the final step in this process) even though attempts have been made several weeks in a row by our agency. this means we have NO idea when we will be in ethiopia to bring ruby home. today i received another call saying that for the third week in a row, we will not be submitted to the embassy AND, Ruby has been admitted to the hospital for the next three days for an invasive TB test. if it comes back clean, we will be submitted next week...a whole month later than it should have been. i literally want to throw things...things that would shatter into a thousand pieces and i am fighting the urge to go stand on my porch and yell and scream at the top of my lungs so that the whole neighborhood can hear...yep, i am at this very moment supressing a full-on temper tantrum, toddler style.

however, deep in the recesses of my mind i am very aware of my need for some perspective. i was fortunate to have lunch (immediately following the crappy phone call) with a dear friend who gently reminded me that we are serving a God who is giving us (his children) all good things, even when it doesn't feel like He is working or even listening to our cries. just as i give good things to my children, so He gives to His children. perspective.

as our adoption process has taken a turn for the frusterating these past few weeks i have received a constant stream of scripture from friends and family who are too loving to just rub my back and feel sorry for me as i cry into my coffee (or on some days, my enormous glass of wine), and so they remind me who's child i am and who's child Ruby is. perspective.

there was also the awesome blog post, written by a friend who i would love to know better, reminding us that if we are looking for God to work the exact way that we want him to, we stand to miss 'walking on the water' miracles, that give us HIS best, and remind us who He is and what He is capable of. perspective.

thank you to all of you who have been offering me healthy doses of perspective all along...i have apparantly been storing it up for this exact moment. thank you for all of your prayers and messages and words of encouragement that let us know that you care about our family...i have honestly been carrying them with me all week, and going back over them today...such gifts!!!

can i ask you to do one more thing for us. with us? we are asking, very publicly, for a miracle (go ahead, think we live in crazyville, i'm cool with it!). please pray with us that our file will be submitted to the american embassy this coming wednesday, sept. 7th. we have been told that it will not happen, and if it doesn't, so. be. it. however, wednesday is not here yet, and our file has not been submitted every week that it was supposed to be, so maybe it will be submitted the one week it's not supposed to be;-)

"i am still confident of this: i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27

our village...

they say that it takes a village to raise a child...well, in our case it takes a village to bring our child home. this adoption process has taught me so much about how little i am capable of accomplishing on my own. every step of the way we have had family, friends, neighbors, fellow adoptive parents...those people who have elected to walk with us (even from a distance)...they have been cheering us on, praying for us, learning with us, teaching us, giving of their own time and resources to make sure that  that ruby could come home as quickly as possible...

and then yesterday, the village threw a beautiful party...

 and so many amazing women were there...they were there to celebrate that ruby will be home SOON!!!

one of my favorite things about these women is that this...

and this...

can happen within five minutes of each other!!

alanna, emily, heather, kerri, laurel: THANK YOU for everything that you did to bring such a wonderful surprise to a week with no phone calls. i love you girls and count it such an extraordinary privilege to have you in my life!!!

my wish...

the day that we left for ethiopia to meet ruby for the first time one of my dear friends slipped me a letter for us to read on our way. i know this friend. well. i know what magic she weaves with words and i knew that if i opened that envelope i would probably not stop crying for weeks (i might have been feeling the tiniest bit emotional). well, eventually my curiosity got the best of me and i opened the envelope. i read half the letter. had a good cry. put it away. a few hours later i read the second half of the letter. cried some more and went to put it away for good when i realized that there was a second page and a photo of our front door(?). knowing better, but being too curious to resist i peaked through my tears at the second page and read through the first stanza of a poem to our ruby. well, needless to say that in my state the tears were a'flowin' and i finished just the first stanza knowing better than to continue. somewhere over the Mediterranean i got my nerve up to read the second stanza and so, this reading small bits at a time continued for...well, quite a long time...in fact, i think we were halfway through the trip before i had read the entire thing. however, once we were back home and i had a few good nights sleep i was able to read through ruby's poem without shedding a single tear and with such great anticipation of her homecoming! i had been planning on sharing it as my final post on this blog once she was home with us...however, i just can't do it. i can't wait. i love this poem and right now it is the words to my wish. so in the spirit of impatience i'm sharing it right here and right now. maybe somebody else can write me a poem to close out with;-)

anyway, here it is...

Ruby Of Our Hearts

"Welcome"

Says the door

The room is pink with polka dots

This home, it's yours.

Laughter is the language here

You'll learn it soon and fluently

You're home, for good, for better.

Forever.

It's good you're here,

We've been waiting for you.

Knock Knock, says the door.

There's a line to meet you.

Ruby of our hearts,

So lovely, so happy!! to meet you.

Welcome home, welcome in.

What's your favorite color?

We watch you tiptoe first,

Then run, then dance.

And wherever you go,

You trip over love.

It's hard sometimes

When things toss and turn

And a place looks different

Than before.

But there's time, you see

Forever, actually

For it to feel like home

There's no place like it.

Ruby of our hearts...

A wish no longer,

In its place - a daughter, a sister

Dear Ruby, Welcome home.

thank you for this gift, heather, we love you!!

a little homesick...

today it is exactly two weeks since we said goodbye to our sweet girl. i had hoped...have been hoping...am still hoping that we would be already prepping to head back to bring her home with us. i have to stress that our case is incredibly abnormal in the sense that our adoption has moved at a very rapid pace. as many of you know, ruby is in need of some medical attention that she will only be able to receive once she is home with us. we are so grateful that we have had so many individuals advocating for a speedy process for our family and we absolutely feel that our God has orchestrated every step of our way. we are confident that she will be home at the exact perfect time. while i realize all of these things as truth it doesn't change this one thing: i miss my baby girl. saying goodbye to her was difficult, and honestly, i thought that would be the hardest part. not so. the last couple of days have felt so long. i've found myself pacing our house, willing the phone to ring or a magic email to appear in my inbox telling me that we have been processed at the embassy.

even as i am feeling sorry for myself and saying all of this i am so aware of other families who are in this same boat with us. other families who are still waiting for approvel letters, referral letters, MOWA letters, travel letters, and pivitol phone calls. i know that we are not the only family longing to have all of our children safe and sound under one roof. one of these waiting mamas, a very dear friend, has a verse from isaiah that has been a mantra of sorts to her while she and her husband wait on their adoption. i've always loved it and the significance that it bears to their story.  for some reason it has been with me the last few days as i have been thinking so much about the aches and pains and redemption of adoption. loving the renewed realization that we are the children of a God who can make all things new, who brings fresh beauty from a broken world.

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43

Ruby gal, mommy and daddy miss you!!