oh, perspective...

hello bloggy friends. it has been a crummy week for adoption news around here. for one thing, we are not...i repeat NOT in ethiopia. not only are we not in ethiopia at this very moment, preparing to bring our daughter home, we have not yet been submitted to the american embassy (the final step in this process) even though attempts have been made several weeks in a row by our agency. this means we have NO idea when we will be in ethiopia to bring ruby home. today i received another call saying that for the third week in a row, we will not be submitted to the embassy AND, Ruby has been admitted to the hospital for the next three days for an invasive TB test. if it comes back clean, we will be submitted next week...a whole month later than it should have been. i literally want to throw things...things that would shatter into a thousand pieces and i am fighting the urge to go stand on my porch and yell and scream at the top of my lungs so that the whole neighborhood can hear...yep, i am at this very moment supressing a full-on temper tantrum, toddler style.

however, deep in the recesses of my mind i am very aware of my need for some perspective. i was fortunate to have lunch (immediately following the crappy phone call) with a dear friend who gently reminded me that we are serving a God who is giving us (his children) all good things, even when it doesn't feel like He is working or even listening to our cries. just as i give good things to my children, so He gives to His children. perspective.

as our adoption process has taken a turn for the frusterating these past few weeks i have received a constant stream of scripture from friends and family who are too loving to just rub my back and feel sorry for me as i cry into my coffee (or on some days, my enormous glass of wine), and so they remind me who's child i am and who's child Ruby is. perspective.

there was also the awesome blog post, written by a friend who i would love to know better, reminding us that if we are looking for God to work the exact way that we want him to, we stand to miss 'walking on the water' miracles, that give us HIS best, and remind us who He is and what He is capable of. perspective.

thank you to all of you who have been offering me healthy doses of perspective all along...i have apparantly been storing it up for this exact moment. thank you for all of your prayers and messages and words of encouragement that let us know that you care about our family...i have honestly been carrying them with me all week, and going back over them today...such gifts!!!

can i ask you to do one more thing for us. with us? we are asking, very publicly, for a miracle (go ahead, think we live in crazyville, i'm cool with it!). please pray with us that our file will be submitted to the american embassy this coming wednesday, sept. 7th. we have been told that it will not happen, and if it doesn't, so. be. it. however, wednesday is not here yet, and our file has not been submitted every week that it was supposed to be, so maybe it will be submitted the one week it's not supposed to be;-)

"i am still confident of this: i will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." Psalm 27

our village...

they say that it takes a village to raise a child...well, in our case it takes a village to bring our child home. this adoption process has taught me so much about how little i am capable of accomplishing on my own. every step of the way we have had family, friends, neighbors, fellow adoptive parents...those people who have elected to walk with us (even from a distance)...they have been cheering us on, praying for us, learning with us, teaching us, giving of their own time and resources to make sure that  that ruby could come home as quickly as possible...

and then yesterday, the village threw a beautiful party...

 and so many amazing women were there...they were there to celebrate that ruby will be home SOON!!!

one of my favorite things about these women is that this...

and this...

can happen within five minutes of each other!!

alanna, emily, heather, kerri, laurel: THANK YOU for everything that you did to bring such a wonderful surprise to a week with no phone calls. i love you girls and count it such an extraordinary privilege to have you in my life!!!

my wish...

the day that we left for ethiopia to meet ruby for the first time one of my dear friends slipped me a letter for us to read on our way. i know this friend. well. i know what magic she weaves with words and i knew that if i opened that envelope i would probably not stop crying for weeks (i might have been feeling the tiniest bit emotional). well, eventually my curiosity got the best of me and i opened the envelope. i read half the letter. had a good cry. put it away. a few hours later i read the second half of the letter. cried some more and went to put it away for good when i realized that there was a second page and a photo of our front door(?). knowing better, but being too curious to resist i peaked through my tears at the second page and read through the first stanza of a poem to our ruby. well, needless to say that in my state the tears were a'flowin' and i finished just the first stanza knowing better than to continue. somewhere over the Mediterranean i got my nerve up to read the second stanza and so, this reading small bits at a time continued for...well, quite a long time...in fact, i think we were halfway through the trip before i had read the entire thing. however, once we were back home and i had a few good nights sleep i was able to read through ruby's poem without shedding a single tear and with such great anticipation of her homecoming! i had been planning on sharing it as my final post on this blog once she was home with us...however, i just can't do it. i can't wait. i love this poem and right now it is the words to my wish. so in the spirit of impatience i'm sharing it right here and right now. maybe somebody else can write me a poem to close out with;-)

anyway, here it is...

Ruby Of Our Hearts

"Welcome"

Says the door

The room is pink with polka dots

This home, it's yours.

Laughter is the language here

You'll learn it soon and fluently

You're home, for good, for better.

Forever.

It's good you're here,

We've been waiting for you.

Knock Knock, says the door.

There's a line to meet you.

Ruby of our hearts,

So lovely, so happy!! to meet you.

Welcome home, welcome in.

What's your favorite color?

We watch you tiptoe first,

Then run, then dance.

And wherever you go,

You trip over love.

It's hard sometimes

When things toss and turn

And a place looks different

Than before.

But there's time, you see

Forever, actually

For it to feel like home

There's no place like it.

Ruby of our hearts...

A wish no longer,

In its place - a daughter, a sister

Dear Ruby, Welcome home.

thank you for this gift, heather, we love you!!

a little homesick...

today it is exactly two weeks since we said goodbye to our sweet girl. i had hoped...have been hoping...am still hoping that we would be already prepping to head back to bring her home with us. i have to stress that our case is incredibly abnormal in the sense that our adoption has moved at a very rapid pace. as many of you know, ruby is in need of some medical attention that she will only be able to receive once she is home with us. we are so grateful that we have had so many individuals advocating for a speedy process for our family and we absolutely feel that our God has orchestrated every step of our way. we are confident that she will be home at the exact perfect time. while i realize all of these things as truth it doesn't change this one thing: i miss my baby girl. saying goodbye to her was difficult, and honestly, i thought that would be the hardest part. not so. the last couple of days have felt so long. i've found myself pacing our house, willing the phone to ring or a magic email to appear in my inbox telling me that we have been processed at the embassy.

even as i am feeling sorry for myself and saying all of this i am so aware of other families who are in this same boat with us. other families who are still waiting for approvel letters, referral letters, MOWA letters, travel letters, and pivitol phone calls. i know that we are not the only family longing to have all of our children safe and sound under one roof. one of these waiting mamas, a very dear friend, has a verse from isaiah that has been a mantra of sorts to her while she and her husband wait on their adoption. i've always loved it and the significance that it bears to their story.  for some reason it has been with me the last few days as i have been thinking so much about the aches and pains and redemption of adoption. loving the renewed realization that we are the children of a God who can make all things new, who brings fresh beauty from a broken world.

"See, I am doing a new thing! Now it it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the desert and streams in the wasteland." Isaiah 43

Ruby gal, mommy and daddy miss you!!

an update...

on our girl, ruby...

we left for ethiopia a week ago (july 21st), eager to meet our new little girl. we arrived late friday night and slept fitfully knowing that our ruby was just steps away from us. on saturday morning we got up early, got dressed, and went down to the main room of the guest house for breakfast. we were just helping ourselves to some eggs when we heard somebody coming in and we turned around to see our agency director standing in the doorway with none other than our ruby!! we had not been expecting her yet and so we were completely surprised!! i jumped up and grabbed her from him, we were laughing and just so happy to finally have her in our arms!! we were unprepared for the moment, had left our camera and video recorder upstairs, but we did think to grab my phone to take a picture of our first meeting...

on court...

on wednesday, july 27th, we appeared in ethiopian court to give our consent to the adoption. the judge went through a list of questions and when we had finished answering them, she looked at us and said, "ok then, she is yours" (!!!). our MOWA letter was in and the courts ruling was final...ruby is officially and legally our daughter...oh happy, happy day!!!

on when we get to bring her home...

on wednesday night we dressed ruby in a pair of fuzzy pink pj's that we had brought from home, gave her her bottle and tucked her into her bed in her room at the transition home. we kissed her goodnight wishing that we could bring her home with us, but knowing that we would be back in a few weeks to bring her home with us forever. though she finally belongs to us, we must wait till all of her paperwork is translated and submitted to the american embassy. we hope to recieve a call in the next few weeks that the embassy is ready for us, and we will hop on a plane, back to ethiopia, and will finally bring her home. 

a wednesday miracle...

now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen. --Ephesians 3

we have our miracle! our caseworker, lesley, called first thing this morning to tell us that our court date has been scheduled for july 27th...only three weeks from today(!!!!)... i know she said some other things too, but i was too busy screaming and laughing to pay a whole lot of attention. we have been praying every day for weeks that our case would make it in before the courts close for two months, and though we were told it was very unlikely, our God apparantly isn't too thrown by 'unlikely':-) there is the one small hurdle of a july 15th preliminary hearing where they affirm our court date, so we'll just be praying that that day comes and goes without a glitch.

a big THANK YOU to all those who have helped to get our puzzle fundraiser off to an amazing start! if you would like to participate in our final fundraiser, click HERE! All funds raised from here on out will go towards the logistics of getting her HOME!!!

one puzzle, many pieces...

The International Adoption process has many hurdles that, when we first began, seemed to be insurmountable.  There are the piles of paperwork, the whim of a foreign countries adoption program, and the financial cost, totaling around $30,000. We had absolutely no idea how we would ever be able to cover all of the fees required to bring a little one home and we soon realized something important…WE could not do it alone. Thanks to the help of so many in our community who have given of their time and resources to help us fundraise, and thanks to a God who had been preparing us for this journey before we even knew we would be taking it, over $20,000 has been paid to date! We are on to our final fundraiser and we would love for you to be a part of it!  We have a 500 piece puzzle that is just waiting to be put together, but we need some help to do it. Puzzle pieces can be sponsored for $10 each. Sponsor as many pieces as you like, and for every piece sponsored, we will write the name of the sponsor on the back. When the puzzle is completed we will frame it in two-sided glass and hang it in our home as a constant reminder of all those who worked together to bring our girl home.

If you would like to sponsor a puzzle piece (or two, or three, or four), you are able to do so by clicking the donate button to your right. If you would like to send a check in the mail, please email us at christina.kyllonen@gmail.com and we'll be so happy to give you our mailing address!

We look forward to someday telling Ruby about all of the people who eagerly anticipated her homecoming!